Look at the person objectively: There is a great need to look at your prospective mate objectively. In being objective you need to be careful, such that you are not inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your prospective mate true nature, granted this will take time and effort on your part but the effort will worth it. To illustrate: perhaps you intend to purchase an automobile you will not only concentrate only at the physical appearance of the car, but it is a wise course to check intently the engine and general condition of the automobile.
Finding a mate is a much weightier issue than choosing an automobile. Yet, many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they quickly point to the things they have in common: ‘We like the same movie.’ ‘We enjoy the same meal.’ ‘We enjoy the same activities’ in fact ‘We agree on everything!’ As mentioned earlier, if actually you desire to be happy you should look beyond superficial traits.
For example, rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more helpful and revealing to note what happens when you disagree. In other words, how does he or she handle conflict—by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”? Or does this person show reasonableness and willing to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is involved, in a situation where the prospective mate is abusive and brutal needless continue or entering into relationship with such person.
Another factor to consider; Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or she demand to know your every move? A situation whereby your mate is overly possessive and suspect every move you make. It is really a signal that all is not well.
Issues such as those raised above focus on personality and conduct. However, it’s just as important to learn something of your mate reputation. How is that one viewed by others? You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time, such as mature ones and friends that way you will know if he or she is a person of good reputation. If he or she doesn’t have good reputation things might NOT really change when married.
It might be revealing to analyze your personal observations as to how your prospective mate measure up in area of conduct, personality and reputation.
Mutual physical Attraction. For the first six month or more in the relationship mutual attraction and physical likeness should have developed. If you do not feel physically attracted to each within this time frame the chances of developing it is slim.
In summary for you to know if the person is right for you, understand yourself and seek for someone who will compliment you! Discover if both of you are physically attracted to each other. Your mate or prospective one should also have these desirable qualities:
Kindness
Gentleness
Goal oriented
Trustworthy
Morally upright
These are qualities that can stand the test of time and will contribute immensely in your enjoying happy and endearing relationship and marriage life. Meditate carefully on these points and determine if the person is right for you! Happy relationship.
