I have given it quite some thoughts. Would I want to be married to another man, being one myself?
This is easily one of the hottest and most controversial topics of the day. Unguarded comments by any politician on the topic may sound the death knell for their political career. It is like walking a tight rope, as it is becoming more fashionable to be in relationships with people of same sex. Their number is increasing as they get bolder to be so identified.
As I wondered why I would want to be in a sexual relationship with a fellow man, I chanced upon a radio channel, where a lady was being asked how she became a lesbian. She rambled for almost half an hour practically re-stating what is already known. She was not born a lesbian. No one was. Indeed she was actually married to a man, but the relationship failed because the man was abusive. Then she met this lady and they got into discussions about sexuality and cruelty of men. One thing led to another, and with generous assistance from the bottle, they ended up in bed.
They later discovered they cared for and about each other so the relationship became permanent. After all, why should they subject themselves to subordination from men when they could be free and still find sexual fulfillment? Children? Taken care of. They adopted a child and everything was cool. So many out there still looking for partners and getting frustrated about not finding the right person. Maybe if they looked within their ranks (same sex) they would be off the market faster than they imagined?
With all these “advantages”, would I still want to be married to another man, being one myself?
I can tell you that sharing your life with another person has its challenges. If it didn’t, there wouldn’t be such words as “failed relationship” and “divorce” in our lexicon. It is also assumed that being the man in a relationship meant being in charge, calling the shots and bossing around, but every discerning man in a relationship knows that is not and should not be the case. Granted, someone has to be the leader, but a good leader is not a ruler. A leader listens to the led since they are all fellows in a ship heading for the same destination. They are working towards the same goals and therefore cannot be at cross purpose; else neither the leader nor the led will make it to their promised land.
Speaking for myself, I would say there is nothing normal or natural about having sexual relationships with other men; not with the bevy of beautiful ladies I still see around, and from which one can choose. The very foundation of the society is being shaken and the way we are heading, in another 10 years from now, same sex union would have gained so much ground it would take the guise of the norm. In another 50 years, who knows? Heterosexual couples may become the endangered species.
Everyone was born into the natural, heterosexual fold. They switch along the line for diverse reasons. They might have been lured into trying it by friends. Some went into it out of curiosity. Yet others did in order to please whoever. By far the biggest reason, it would appear, is the frustrations of having to deal with the opposite sex in a committed, lasting relationship. From finding and maintaining the relationship, it is such a challenge. Men accuse women of all sorts and women cannot understand why men are the way they are. For instance, why would any sane person (men) be so addicted to 22 men chasing a round piece of leather for 90 minutes in the name of sports? Why can’t men just be faithful in a relationship? Once with a woman, what is he still looking for with another woman? Of course, we know more women cheat these days, but the men appear to be in the lead here. Then the men cannot understand why women love shopping so much. So many clothes and shoes than they’ll ever need or use. What is wrong with them?
Ok. Say the spinster acquires fashion to attract men (a lot of ladies would object to that), but how does the married woman explain her obsession with acquisition of fashion items? It must be something to do with their genetic makeup. It is who they are, even though to the men it doesn’t make sense. The sexes have their differences, but isn’t that the beauty of it? If there is no one wanting to talk when I’d rather sleep, where is the fun?
The challenges of living with the opposite sex or the frustrations of finding and living with one, is not enough motivation for me to want to be with a same sex partner. We have challenges in other areas of life, but relatively few people have committed suicide on this account. How many people kill their dogs because it barks? Or how many have dumped their children in the sea because they throw tantrums often? Not a few people have annoying bosses, but stuck with the jobs anyway.
I looked at all the reasons why I should want to be with another man in a sexual relationship, but none is appealing enough. Maybe if women seize to exist, I might give it another thought. Until then, God bless all the women out there.